Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
