12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we made out on top of his cat.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
