My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
