If i come over, it means nothing
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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