Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
