can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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