SEEEEXXX PLEASE
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
