Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
