He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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