maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
