Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
