Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Do vagina's smell?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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