This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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