went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
