I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
