After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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