Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
