ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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