Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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