If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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