I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
