dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
