I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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