going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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