That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
