There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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