I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
