I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
