So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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