I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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