but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
