His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Enjoy the penises
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
