There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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