I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
