Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize