Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
