i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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