There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
