there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
