No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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