hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
