No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize