Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
