Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
