my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
