Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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