and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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