It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
