i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
