watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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