I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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