awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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