The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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