You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There r osticjed everywhere
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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