what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
