Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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