The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
