There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
